Smartphones have become an integral part of young people's daily lives, but that is not always plain sailing. Parental controls, a maximum number of minutes on TikTok, handing in your phone before you go to bed. Recent research by Vodafone among almost 1,000 young people (Panelwizard, November 2024) shows that as many as 56% of young people sometimes argue with their parents about screen time, while 76% of them think there should also be rules for parents. This discussion is leading to growing tensions in families: how do you maintain an open dialogue about digital habits without clashing?
Two thirds of young people have rules at home about screen time. For example, more than 25% of respondents are required to show what they do on their phones. 37% sometimes have to show what is on their phones, primarily to ensure their safety. Parents and carers use parental controls to enforce rules, much to the frustration of the young people.
Luna, 13 years old: “Sometimes, we suddenly get new rules from dad, which I find really annoying, then suddenly my phone has to be put away or my minutes on TikTok have run out."
Young people mainly use their smartphones to keep in touch with friends, play games and watch videos (80%). Social media plays a major role in this, with WhatsApp (75%) and Snapchat (74%) as favourites. So, for young people, the smartphone offers freedom: connecting with friends, discovering new hobbies and keeping up with social networks.
"My parents don't really know what I use my phone for and think I'm only on Snapchat or TikTok, whereas I also use it a lot to meet up with my friends, or I'm on a drawing app," according to Jarno (14 years old) in the Vodafone survey.
80% of young people in the survey considered their smartphone an essential part of their lives. It makes their lives more enjoyable (90%) and they would rather not be without it. At the same time, many parents believe that fun things also need to be viewed within the bigger context. But are parents themselves setting a good example?
Young people speak out: parents just as addicted
Young people also have clear opinions about their parents' own smartphone use. 35% of respondents think their parents or guardians are addicted to their smartphones, and the same percentage are annoyed by that. 67% of young people therefore think screen time rules should also apply to parents, and 33% regularly speak to their parents about putting their phones away.
Elise (aged 14): "Sometimes mum is on her phone a lot in the evenings. Then I think: hey, I want to talk to you! When I say something about it, she does usually put her phone away right away."
Understanding each other
42% of young people do not share their online activities with their parents, because they think parents will not understand anyway. At the same time, parents are often unaware of their contradictory behaviour, such as their own screen use, which undermines the message of 'less screen time'.
Stefan van der Stigchel, professor of Cognitive Psychology at Utrecht University's department of Experimental Psychology, argues that the discussion too often revolves one-sidedly around screen time: "It's ultimately about what you do precisely on your phone. Reading an interesting article is very different, of course, than aimlessly scrolling through social media. There are relatively simple ways to set up a phone in such a way that young people are less likely to be consumed by social media. By broaching that subject, young people learn that they can exercise control over their own attention."
The findings show that in many families, rules around screen time are mainly imposed, but hardly any real conversations take place about the value young people attach to their phones and how they view online and offline moments.
Talking about smartphone use
The results of the Vodafone survey highlight the challenge for parents to find a balance in digital parenting. It is not just about setting rules, but also about broaching the subject together, making young people feel understood.
Robin Kroes, Executive Director Consumer Market at VodafoneZiggo, explains: "As being online becomes an increasingly large part of people's lives, digital balance is very important. Sometimes the best moments are experienced offline and not online. Vodafone wants to help families find that balance and have the conversation."
Talking to their children about what they do online and why it is important to them gives parents an insight into their children's digital world, the telecoms provider believes. Because while the smartphone has given a great deal to all of us, it also creates distractions, reduced attention and less concentration.
Van der Stigchel: "Distractions make us less able to concentrate. We can only focus our attention on 1 task at a time, and divided attention therefore results in reduced learning ability and inevitable mistakes, such as being late."
Pim (aged 14) explains: "I also have a hard time concentrating and I also sometimes arrive late because of my phone, then I know: I'm really spending too much time on my phone."
Interestingly, the survey found that young people ultimately prefer spending time offline with people they like over spending time on their phones (76%). This shows that real moments with each other are also more important than the latest TikTok trends for young people.
Parents and young people who want to start the conversation together about screen time can find more information at vodafone.nl/schermtijd (in Dutch). In the first half of next year, Vodafone will launch another initiative to help parents with digital parenting.